You're a Noob if...

You are a noob if you ask someone for Lindens.
You are a noob if you beg for someone to buy you anything.
You are a noob if you ask someone to give you an item you wearing. (A lot of things ain't transferable so duh!)
You are a noob if you cam into or try to sit in someone else's home.
You are a noob if your lack of AO screams out that you are. (People with no AOs are usually too cheap to even buy clothes so they become beggars when they want something)
You are a noob if you think it funny to bump or push people.
You are a noob if you do noob dances that look so stupid that you must know how idiotic you look.
You are a noob if you not realize that most people make Lindens by working and you should do the same.
You are a noob if you IM someone to date you and when they ignore you then you proceed by following them around like an annoying insect.
You are a noob if you want sex with someone and you lack the proper equipment that doesn't make us crack up laughing instead of be turned on. (This applies to male noobs)
You are a noob if you test gestures constantly at stores. (Stores ain't the place for gestures especially the obscene ones. We know gestures accidentally trigger but we know the difference.)

More will be added as I think of them or come across more noobish behavior.